[MUD-Dev] Re:)

Ola Fosheim Grøstad <olag@ifi.uio.no> Ola Fosheim Grøstad <olag@ifi.uio.no>
Wed Sep 3 23:25:55 New Zealand Standard Time 1997

>At 09:17 AM 9/2/97 PST8PDT, you wrote:
>>Oh.. Did I say sexual interaction?  No?  But we treat the other gender
>>differently, and in there is the flirt part.  I guess I should have
>>said romantic interaction? You're not giving me much slack, are you?

>No, I don't give absolute statements much slack.

So where is the "absolute" part?  I would think "sexually related" would
be a very vague term.  What you read into it is entirely on your part.

>If you are going to profess the One True Way, be prepared to defend it.

Except in this case I don't think I have, and if I have, that would have
been a slip.  I do care about the typical case, I do care about the
general case, and for issues that are often neglected because of norms
I also care about the significantly often occuring case.

I do of course realize that there are people that are exceptionally
nonsexual, or antisocial, or very protective etc.  However I do believe
in evolution and that mating is so fundamental that it affects adult
behaviour in general, especially across the gendergap (for
non-homosexual people). I think of this as being sexually-related.
I'm not saying that users flirt because they are hoping for sex, but
I certainly think it is related to sex and that this is in large part
instincts, not only cultural, although it probably can be overruled
by culture. (I think it is understood here that we are talking about
people that actually like each other)

I know I treat people differently on MUDs depending on their gender,
and I also notice how differently people treat me when I enact a female
character.  I also notice how difficult it is to be really treated like
a female character if my real gender slips out.  I also notice how
important it is for those men I meet as a female character to know my

I also want to point out that I think falling in love over the net is
a very bad idea, simply because there is so much room for reading
"what one wants" into the other person, and for the other person to
hide and manipulate.  I guess this is something a few on the list
have experienced in oneway or the other.  I still think it is important
to deal with the theme and not ignore it.  I'm not going to profess the
One True Way, simply because I have no clue what it is, that's why I
suggested it to be a topic for discussion.


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